Colts 22 Titans 20

Week Two of the NFL season went just as I expected it would when the Colts-North took on the Colts-South in beautiful Nashville, Tennessee. I figured this game to be closely contested even though our offense genuinely seems to struggle to put the ball into the end zone against the Titans defense. Yes, the Titans have a stout defense which I thought played quite well on Sunday but errors in the kicking game and the play calling really kept this game a little closer than it should have been.

Today’s enjoyable contest included me and the Warden going over to my buddy Paul’s house to watch the clash along with his extremely tolerant wife, Michelle. He’ll be thrilled to know that he has now been mentioned in one of those Internet columns that nobody really reads. (He only reads stuff about himself as he has mentioned before, which means he is incredibly illiterate and will likely have to have his wife slowly read this column to him……not that it’ll be all about him).

Prior to the game we learn that both Freddy Keiaho (dislocated elbow) and Rob Morris (ribs? I can’t remember) will not suit up meaning we’re going to enjoy Rocky Boiman and Tyjuan Hagler (sounds like a really bad boxing moving….unlike Rocky 5 which was just cinematic gold) are lining up beside Gary Brackett. Their mission is to stop Chris Brown, Wes Ours….I mean, LenDale White, and Vince Young from rolling up the rushing yards like they did against Jacksonville one week earlier.

Today’s beverage of choice is Dos Equis (in the green bottle).

The Colts kick off to Tennessee and it is at this time that we learn our first amazing fact of the day: Paul’s wife enjoys pancakes….with no syrup. Huh?

The Titans are facing a 4th and 2 and they decide to go for it, only to be stopped short for a turnover on downs. Paul: Make a statement in YOUR HOUSE BEYYYYYOTCHES!

For the second week in a row, a Colts wide receiver is lining up against a former Colts defensive back. Last week it was Reggie Wayne breaking down Jason David and this week Nick Harper is battling Marvin Harrison. Therefore, Peyton Manning feels obligated to exploit Harper’s, ahem, shortcomings and hits Harrison for a 37 yard pass that sets up a 1st and goal on the Titans’ 8 yard line. Joseph Addai then rushes up the middle, untouched, for the first score of the game and we’re up 6-0 (extra point blocked!).

TV Crew: Our referee today is Walt Coleman.
Us: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (Walt blows. I have pictures. Not with me and him, that’d be creepy.)

Here’s how fired up our defense is: I swear Raheem Brock tried to drop kick Vince Young. The Titans are forced to punt.

Indy starts its slow march down the field and, on 3rd and 6, a pass goes right through Dallas Clark’s hands and newcomer Anthony Gonzalez cradles it for a catch, which SHOULD have been the first of his NFL career (in games that count). We’re facing 1st and 10 before the play is challenged and Walt Coleman decides there is PLENTY of evidence to overturn the call, meaning the Colts are forced to punt.

The Titans take over and roll down the field late in the first quarter and settle for a Rob Bironas 30 yard field goal, which cuts the Colts’ lead in half at 6-3.

Paul: Bob Sanders could kill Chuck Norris (if you don’t get that reference, don’t be surprised. It’s Paul we’re talking about).

(http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/)

On its’ first drive of the second quarter, the Colts run 10 plays for 76 yards which ends in a Dallas Clark touchdown catch for 22 yards. Clark was being covered by former Colts linebacker David Thornton, who just so happened to be nowhere near him. Indianapolis takes a 13-3 lead.

Here’s a question I feel merits discussion: How in the hell does a kick returner get all the way to the 30 yard line after he mishandles the kick in his own end zone?

The Titans battle back, going 12 plays for 53 yards and they again are forced to kick a field goal and they trail 13-6. Indianapolis can really put the squeeze on the Titans if they can manage to get the ball into the end zone before heading into the locker room at the half. Of course, why do that? Why not punt it away so we can try to let the Titans back in game? Punt.

Tennessee starts moving the ball down the field yet you can see Vince Young becoming more and more aggravated. Hayden forced Young out of bounds (he was still in the field of play….trust me Vince, it could have been a WHOLE lot worse for you) and Young decides it’d be a quality idea to go ahead and throw the ball into Hayden’s stomach. Young is then flagged for unsportsman-like conduct and the penalty results in a Titans punt.

Ok, seriously, THIS time we should probably do whatever we can to punch the ball into the end zone and really put the Titans behind the eight ball heading into the half.

Results: Gonzo’s first two catches in the NFL, a couple of passes to Reggie Wayne and another field goal by Vinatieri.

16-6 at the half.

Overall, it hasn’t been too bad of a game for the Colts. A couple of errors in the kicking game and a couple of drives stalled thanks, in large part, to Tennessee’s defense really stepping up in the clutch. We left a lot of points on the board in the first half and I’m hoping we start seeing the offense we all enjoyed against New Orleans last week.

We get the ball to start the second half and I’m thinking we’ve probably done the necessary adjustments to improve the play off the offensive line so Peyton will have ample time to run through his progressions. Naturally, Ryan Lilja can’t see Albert Haynesworth due to the fact that his head was in a nice, warm place, and Stompy picks up a sack on Manning and we’re forced to kick yet another field goal. (Kind of reminds me of the Colts-Ravens playoff game from last year).

19-6 Colts.

(Just got our first shot of a guy dressed up like Elvis in the crowd).

Tennessee is back on offense and so far I’ve been pretty impressed with the ability to stop the running game. Nobody in their backfield, including Young, has really done much of note…which is a surprise seeing as we have two backup linebackers in the game.

They are forced to punt yet again and Indianapolis has the ball at the one yard line. Dallas Clark drops ANOTHER pass and then Peyton is picked off by Finnegan, who returns it to our 15 yard line. Manning had attempted 190 straight passes before that interception.

Meatpants (LenDale White) bowls his way into the end zone from the 5 yard line (I think the play itself took roughly four minutes), slicing Indy’s lead to 19-13. Now I’m starting to get a little uncomfortable.

The Colts bounce back, moving the ball 70 yards until a pass from Manning falls incomplete. Announcers: That was good coverage by Nick Harper.
Of course, Harrison just flat out dropped the pass.

Vinatieri kicks another field goal and we’re back up 22-13.

Taco Dip is now being served! Who doesn’t enjoy a good taco dip? Chef Paul, that there was some quality taco dip. Enjoyment had by all.

The Titans are back on offense and it’s a FUMBLE!!! The Colts take over and can really ice this game with a touchdown. Naturally, Vinatieri missed the field goal.

CUT HIM!

Signed,

Mike Vanderjagt

Tennessee looked very good on their next drive, using almost 6:30 minutes of the game clock on an 11 play, 74 yard drive ending in a Roydell Williams touchdown catch which cut the Colts’ lead to two at 22-20.

The Colts MUST put together a scoring drive or I fear these nervous ticks are going to stay with me forever. Harrison just grabbed a catch for a big-time first down after the Titans’ blitz fails. Paul: Straight gangsta!

Manning looks to Harrison again and Nick Harper just misses coming up with an interception in the end zone. Our attempt to put the game out of reach falls short when Kyle Vanden Bosch sacks Manning, taking the Colts out of field goal range. Paul: If I see Vanden Bosch on the street…..so help me GOD.

Another nice punt by Hunter Smith, although Tim Jennings just can’t keep the ball from bouncing into the end zone (that’s twice today).

The Titans start from their own 20 with 1:38 left in the game. What a way to start this drive! Bob Sanders just picks up the sack! START WORKING ON A LONG-TERM CONTRACT NOW PLEASE!!!!!!!!!

Tennessee eventually picks up a first down and they’re at the Colts’ 47. They don’t need a whole lot more yardage to get into Bironas’ range. A couple of incompletions later and the Titans are facing a 4th and 4. Young, facing pressure from our defense, is forced to lateral the ball to an offensive lineman, who then proceeds to fumble the ball away with the Colts’ Darrell Reid recovering! Game Over! Colts win!!! Whew! (In that last drive by the Titans, I swear a little bit of pee came out). Wait…no, I just spilled my beer.

The Colts improved to 2-0 and pick up a much needed win in the division on the road. Next up, it’s Indianapolis at Houston (2-0). The Texans have been very impressive so far in this young season. They’ve pummeled both the Chiefs and the Panthers. I’m not sure exactly what that says for Houston. The Chiefs are just a bad, bad team and the jury is still out on the Panthers.

Houston beat us last year and they have some promising young talent on both sides of the ball. They may be without All-Pro receiver Andre Johnson who, as of Tuesday, is listed as doubtful with a knee injury.

I wasn’t impressed with the play of the Colts against Tennessee. Yes, they always find a way to make the games close against us, but it seemed like we were doing our best to try and give them that game. Hopefully, the Colts offense will come out firing against the Texans in Houston and let’s all pray (because God IS a Colts fan) that our defense continues to show improvement.

It should be a quality match-up, one the Colts should win.